thoughts, Uncategorized

Love marriage VS Arranged marriage

We (youth) often have discussions regarding which format of marriage is better love or arranged. Some argue in the favor of love marriage and some in favor of arranged marriage.  I do not understand who put a VS between these two. According to me love and arranged marriages are not the Earth and the sky. These are just two different sides of the same coin. I’m not biased towards any particular format I’ve seen both of them turning out to be successful.

Living in a country like India, marriage is not just the union of two souls but also the union of two families. Our parents always want to see us happy. So they according to their own experiences they try to choose the best partners for us.  But the problem that lies here is even our parents do not know us completely (I would like to apologize if I’m hurting anybody’s sentiments). They have seen us growing but they’ve not seen our thought process growing. They haven’t seen our peers, for instance, and also the conditions and situations we’re facing once we’re out of our homes. And then there is a huge generation gap at present. At most of the things our thoughts are not aligned with our parents or grandparents. So needless to say our parents know only a limited version of us (In most of the cases not for everyone). And so their sense of judgement may fail when it comes to choosing a life partner.

Now coming to the love marriage, most of us at the time of our marriage are not even sure of our choices. Everything looks fancy at first but later on turns unobtrusive. That is the reason why some of the love marriages turn into ugly divorces later. What they had thought was love, was only attraction and the phase got over and so is the marriage. Love and attraction are two different things. Love starts when the attraction begins to fade, when the people realise that the other person is not perfect but still they want to spend their life with them. Love is when you keep on falling for the same person each day and you tend to do anything to put a smile on their face 🙂 Love is bliss and the best thing in life is to fall in love. Spending the whole life with the one you love is like living in a paradise.

If you ask me what do I prefer I would say a mixture of both. A love cum arranged marriage is the best of all kinds.

I’m not ending this post and leaving it open for further discussion. 🙂

 

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27 thoughts on “Love marriage VS Arranged marriage”

  1. Union???? at best, intersection A∩B 😀 if not altogether a Null set.
    I know from firsthand experience 😀 My wife was my best friend for eight years after which she became my wife and my nemesis 😀
    As for the families… well, let me put it this way… it became Love Kam arranged Marriage zyaada hahaha (Incidentally, such good timing.. 13th anniversary in another two days.. hehe.. )

      1. So then, I guess you are an engineer… to laugh at that silly nerd-ish joke… 😀

        And thanks… yes, it did work out.. some 😀 Most times we are fighting…

      2. Ah, the same thing these days… engineers seldom are… Commerce students are less than commercial I suppose 😀
        Yes, that is exactly what I mentioned in another comment to the blogger just a few minutes ago… what is life without a fight 😀

      3. Under-educated…. 12th-pass by fortune and the rest that happened afterwards is not worth mentioning..
        But I am still learning… in a way.. and on my own.

      4. I like Maths, but it is not the sole province of engineers.. however, not a bad guess.. It has been more than two decades since I last formally learned mathematics… but I still take up a few math books at times to get the same surge I used to feel all those years ago.. and it is not the same anymore. Just dumbing down, I suppose.

      5. Ah, I see… hmm, yes, you are right… the zeal is important.. and modern education drives that right out of your mind. You see, I always felt engineering is not some kind of profession or some kind of label. You need to think like an engineer (the fabled/mythical engineer).. It is more about the ability to grasp things, to have the ability to learn, adapt, grit your teeth and get things done, rather than having a B.E. or a B.Tech after your name. I would hesitate to say that an engineer is born and not made, but it is true to a certain extent. It is a mindset and not merely education. I have friends who are superlative engineers, alas, all lost to their MBAs and their stupid business/corporate lives. But their quick thinking, their ability to analyze in a split-second and, most important of all, to convincingly bullshit about anything they are asked about, haha, matters most. It is true. Ask them about anything in the world… and they have an answer in no time – even if it is bullshit, it usually has merit.
        That said, I am yet to see a proper engineer these days. Not enough to have academic credentials.. but to know your chosen field well, even if you are not great in the academic version, but know how to adapt well and learn to handle things, that would be a great thing. Unfortunately, I don’t see people doing that. Engg seems to be a stepping stone to an MBA or to some IT job. No applied engineering anywhere, these days.. sad..

      6. It shouldn’t be… but it is.. sadly.. But not all marriages are like that… 🙂 And truth to tell… we are sort of fighting as independent creatures.. which is in a way desirable… what would marriage be if it was all pleasantries.. I’d be bored to death haha

  2. Reblogged this on lovehappinessandpeace and commented:
    MANY people seem to think that Marriage is a Material Transaction, where a Boy or Girl strikes the Eye, is liked, and brought home.

    Just as We would discard a shoe that was not satisfactory, so too Partners are given Marching Orders!

    To speak of Marriages being Made in Heaven sounds like Shoes made by the famous company, Bata, in India.

    NO. Marriages have to be Made to Work. Each Person has to Give and Take. When One partner feels that the Other has peculiarities, Everybody has to remember that He/She has Peculiarities too.

    All that being So, found this post and liked the following Words in it Very Much.

    Love and attraction are two different things.

    Love starts when the attraction begins to fade, when the people realise that the other person is not perfect but still they want to spend their life with them. Love is when you keep on falling for the same person each day and you tend to do anything to put a smile on their face. 🙂

    Hearty Kudos to Kriti over this.

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